Thursday, August 7, 2014

26th Birthday Milestone(s)


Yesterday was my 26th birthday, and I loved every second of it.  As many of you know, I'm on an all liquid diet (for the most part hehe), so I planned to spend my day totally enjoying all my favorite foods.  It's one of a few days out of the year on which I just don't feel guilty indulging.  I had a fruit smoothie and cheese danish for breakfast, a carnitas burrito for lunch.....and that is where my plan derailed.  Being on a liquid diet has trained my stomach to vehemently oppose heavy meals.  When I have them, especially ultra-unhealthy ones, there is a passionate strike occurring in my body, and I am at it's mercy.  I didn't get sick, though I could have, but I was just too full to really indulge at dinner.  So I opted for a BBQ chicken salad and shared a Korean Beef appetizer, but I couldn't even finish a quarter of either of them.  It was somewhat of a let down, but it really makes me aware of how much I was over-eating before I started this plan.  I could have easily downed a burrito at lunch, and eaten a nice large dinner, but now, it's physically impossible.  And it should be!  I was grossly over eating before, and that's why I nearly hit 300 lbs.  My body doesn't need that much food, unhealthy food at that, to be fully satiated.

The only saving grace was what happened the night before.  I had my weekly weigh in, and I gave myself the best present I could have hoped for.  I lost 7.2 pounds in ONE week.  No, that isn't a typo: seven point two pounds!!! That brings my total weight loss to a whopping 46.8 pounds, and I truly couldn't be any happier.

The first milestone, for me, is reaching a weight loss of 50 pounds (I wanted to do so by my birthday---but close enough), and I'm less than a hand of fingers away from doing so.  For some reason, it's hard for me to really accept that I'm losing weight, until I have this notch on my belt.  It may be because I have had about 150 lbs to lose in the beginning, so once I get that 50 pound loss, it will become more real to me, more tangible.  But nevertheless, that is nearly 50 pounds, in three short months.  50 f**king POUNDS!  That's like losing the weight of a small child!  You can see that this was easily the best present I could have received: a renewed invigoration to keep pursuing my goal.  Sometimes it gets hard, and you wonder why you are even doing this, but then when you see something like that, you quickly remember that all the pain is so worth it.

The second milestone is the fact that this morning, even after my excessive indulgence yesterday, I was able to put on a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to wear in over a year.  I put them on a couple weeks ago, and they fit, but barely, so I wanted to give myself another couple weeks to see if I could get them on comfortably, and that happened this morning (well, they are a little snug, but nothing some stretching cant fix).  I feel like dancing all over my work, it feels amazing.  I've gone down 3 pants sizes, and one shirt size in three months!!!!  I could be one of those weight-loss commercials!!!  It feels spectacular.

The only, and I mean only, downside of my birthday yesterday, was not having my Dad there.  It's my second birthday without him, and it's really sad.  He would have loved to watch me mature into the woman I am becoming, and even more, he would have loved to watch me get healthy.  Even now, 1 year and 5 months after his passing, I still have the urge to call him and tell him the good news, and update him on my weight loss.  It's a tragedy that is still so fresh, I don't think I've even fully come to terms of what life will be like without his presence.  All I can do is keep positivism a goal, strive to continue my healthy quest, and honor his life by remembering him always.  I know he would be my biggest cheerleader if he were here, so hopefully he is my biggest cheerleader up above.  Without all that he taught me, I wouldn't be able to do this.
So, I'll trek on, and keep the goal in mind.  For now-----no more burritos!